This Is Why I Write

Awhile back I posted a blog for the first time in a long time. I talked about why people blog. Why I blog. Every now and then I like to go back to that. Why I have a blog. Why I write. Why I don't write. It keeps me up to date.

"It took three attempts but, after hours of pacing and fidgeting, I had a good writing session. The fight was to get back into my heart."- Donald Miller

Sup everyone? I know, what a lame greeting. Somehow I always say "sup". I'm sure that's not cool anymore, if it ever was. But it's what comes. Sup. I like to pretend I have thousands and thousands of people waiting for my next blog and now I'm greeting all of you again. In reality I probably have less than three people waiting for my next blog. I'm okay with that. It doesn't change my dream of writing, and it doesn't mean 40 or 50 of you won't randomly stumble across this on social media and actually click on the link. And Sometimes, you only care what one person thinks of your blog.

It's funny how this works. I often set out to write about one thing and end up writing on another. It's my favorite part. There are no rules. Nobody is grading it. It can't be put in a box. I have a blank page to say what I need to say. To say what is burning inside of me.

"Most great art is created when the artist feels they are channeling something rather than trying to communicate something."- Donald Miller

I used to think in a well written blog the author never talked about themselves. It had to be inspirational, but generic and have the ability to "communicate" to every single person. Now I know, real people are dying to hear a story. Real people are dying to take off their masks and tell their stories. Now THAT applies to everyone.That's why I love Donald Miller so much. He talks about himself a lot in his books, but it's so raw and so open, and that's a risk. Deep down it's what we're all craving and too fearful or prideful to reveal.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us.

We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine,
As children do.
We were born to make manifest
The glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us;
It's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we're liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

- Marianne Williamson

That's my goal.

I don't give a play by play of my life, like a long Facebook status update of what I had for breakfast or where I went on vacation. I don't spout off emotions in the moment I'm hurting the most. But I do try to be as open as possible and share my shortcomings and successes in whatever I happen to be blogging about. Because even if you don't want to know, someone else does.

A few weeks ago I had a chance to add to my story with one of my best friends. We had both gone through some rough times in the past year and although he was living in Florida and I in Oklahoma, we committed to being there for each other during this season we found ourselves wondering if we'd make it one more day. We prayed. We talked about Jesus. We talked about basketball.We talked about girls. During this time we became better friends than we already were. It was almost like we were on an island together. We discovered that neither of us had ever been baptized, and neither of us had really told anyone. While we had both been saved for a pretty long time, baptism just never happened for a ton of reasons. At first it was out of our control. We didn't grow up in families that would be taking pictures of us on "Baptism Sunday." But later, we weren't obedient. We shrank back. I know for me, I never wanted to be found out. I had this reputation, I had been in leadership positions in ministry. It was just another area in my life I had held onto controlling for so long.

When we're not risking, we're living in fear. So I bought a plane ticket and I flew to Florida to be baptized with one of my best friends. By my mentor. In the ocean. I'll never forget it as long as I live. My entire group of friends from Florida had no idea until that trip. For me, that was a risk. And for me there was never more joy in being found out than standing on the beach praying with all of them before I walked into the water.
 
So this is why I write, because stories aren't just inspiring or heartwarming. Stories aren't just sad or happy. Stories aren't entertaining or compelling. Sometimes it's my story, and sometimes it's someone else's. But the words don't just stay on a page or a screen. They can't. Because we've got risks to take. Someone needs permission needs permission to share their story. And sometimes, stories about Jesus, basketball, and girls change your life.

"And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their life even when faced with death." -Revelation 12:11

Stories have the power to put a beatdown on the devil. To save lives. To buy plane tickets.

This is why I write.

More to come.